“A daughter is someone you laugh with, dream with, and love with all your heart” ~ Anonymous.
Born: March 25, 2014; 8:48a
Mary Washington Hospital Fredericksburg, Virginia
Weighing four pounds one ounce
Seventeen inches beautiful
Her name Annmarie Jacqueline is a combination of all the strong a beautiful women that have helped mold and inspire you along your way. A tribute to your family tree and a legacy for her to admire.
Ann, after your beautiful soul. The middle name of my best friend and my person.
Marie, after your patient and kind mother, who has loved me as her own and will surely take a bullet for her special little granddaughter.
Jacqueline, after your sweet, strong-willed, and beautiful mother-in-law. The woman that raised the man of your dreams.
The shoes this little girl will fill. The mountains she will move.
She will fight, as you do, because it’s in her blood.
Since I’m telling your story, I’m also telling hers, so when you wake we can take you to that day, as if you never missed a beat.
7:32a, Your husband calls me, I panic because we usually text so immediately I know something isn’t quite right.
He informs me that today is the day. His exact words “It’s go time”. You were having some serious contractions that Annmarie wasn’t fond of, so the doctors decided to make the call, and bring your sweet girl into this world. Scotty was so calm, he was ready to meet his daughter. Amy and I on the other hand were a mess (naturally).
I quickly got dressed, grabbed what I could think of and started heading up the interstate to meet my newest niece. It took me some time to get there since your daughter picked a snowy morning to arrive. I was about 12 miles away and stopped on 95, waiting for the snow to clear….she was born at 8:48am.
I finally arrived to the hospital and couldn’t find anyone. I knew Scotty would be with Annmarie, but where were you, where were Amy, Mark, and the kids…I went to the NICU. Scotty came out, beaming. I hugged and congratulated him and went to find Amy. They were in a different waiting room this time, but I found them, and I sent Amy up to meet Scotty, while I joined Mark, Amanda, and Adam in the waiting room.
Amy came back down and informed us that we could go up two at a time to meet Annmarie. I was so excited, I have been with many babies over the years, but I had been waiting for this one for a very, very long time! I waited for Amanda and Adam to visit first. Then it was my turn. I scrubbed my hand for 3+ minutes and waited for Scotty to come escort me back through the NICU. I finally laid eyes on that perfect little daughter of yours, laying in her incubator, like life was easy, just relaxing. Tough as nails.
She was perfect. Each little finger and little toe. Her precious little lips, and her little tiny nose. You did a phenomenal job protecting your little girl, and when she was ready she came into this world, as perfect as can be. She may only be four pounds, but she is fierce, you can tell.
After I knew the baby was okay it was my mission to lay eyes on you. I went back downstairs to ask Mark if he had heard anything. He said he hadn’t so Amanda and I came looking. You were back in your room, all finished with surgery and resting.
I got to the doorway of your room and was getting ready to gown up when I noticed your monitor. Your numbers were beautiful (and so were you). Your heartrate was back down in the 70s, blood pressure had stablized, and your respiratory rate was around 15. On paper, you looked perfect. You were under general for your c-section so you were sleeping off the anesthesia for most of the day. We all took turns visiting you until lunch, everyone couldn’t believe how great you looked.
After lunch I came to sit with you and just hold your hand. I read my book and watched tv and just patiently waited for you to come around. You slept, and that’s okay. I waited.
I didn’t get to see your beautiful eyes that day.
I had to leave the hospital around 5:30p because my mother (yup) was involved in a car accident (yup). She was fine, some bumps and bruises, and she was a bit shook up but she was okay. I rushed to RWRH just in case, because you know how they like to keep her there for no reason. She was released that evening and I took her home and got her settled.
When I got back to my house (around 11:30p) Scotty had texted me, to ask me if I was still awake. I said yes, thinking something awful had happened (yea, I know) and that I was going to get back in the car and drive back up.
Instead, it was the opposite. Instead, he told me:
“I just told her to give me thumbs up and she did it 3 different times!!!!!”
“Squeezed my hand let go, grab the ball, drop it.”
I danced in my kitchen, and tears streamed down my face. I knew it.
It’ll take time, but you’ll be just fine.
What a day it was, what a day…
I know this isn’t want you wanted, it’s not what you planned. After all the years you spent fighting for that little girl to be in your life you didn’t even get to hold her when she was born. But you will. You didn’t get to hear that first cry. But you will. It may not be the way you planned, and this may be the hardest deficit from this entire tragedy, but you will overcome this. You’ll hold her, teach her, love her, and watch her become a girl, a teen, and a woman, you’ll watch her fill the shoes of all the beautiful strong women she is named after.
You will be her best friend and she will be yours (and I’m perfectly fine sharing).
I love that little girl so much already and I haven’t even held her. I love her because she’s yours, she’s you, she’s Scotty, she’s the best of both of you….it’s just like having a little mini you…the more Kim the better.
I will be there for both of you 100% for all of my days. I promise to do my best, and I promise to teach her things the way I’d think you’d want me to until you are able to (which won’t be long). I promise that I will stand by your side, defend your daughter, and protect you both. I’d take a bullet for either of you, but at this point, I think I’d have to stand in line (you both have quite a following).
I love you Kimmy. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter and the progress you have made. I can’t wait to tell you this story, over and over again, as many times as you want.